Parenting - the struggle is real

In just the past two days I’ve spoken to three different parents who all, in random and casual conversation, alluded to the same thing - how on earth can I do everything that’s expected of me; how can this be so hard; how can I always be feeling so spread thin; how do I keep it all together?

The demands of life, in this instance particularly as a parent, wasn’t something I brought up, it just came up, reminding me that some form of struggle is a universal part of life and parenting.
We may mention some of these struggles to our close friends, or on a bad day allow ourselves to lament at a kids party or at the school gate at pick-up time, but generally we seem to grapple with hardships alone. It’s almost as if admitting to something being difficult is a shameful proclamation of weakness, incompetence and defeat.

How wonderful would it be if we could encourage each other by sharing our stories, or to be able to seek advice without judgement?
Saying yes, yes and yes - it is a great honour and privilege to be a parent! I love my child/ren!
But sometimes I just don’t have the answers; sometimes I don’t know what the right thing is to do; sometimes I’m exhausted and sometimes I feel like I just can’t do it.

Maybe you have a platform for sharing and asking for input - that is a healthy place to be.
Perhaps you can be the platform and advisor to another parent.
But let’s try to see each other without judgement, remembering:

• we are all human
• we all make mistakes
• to forgive ourselves
• to ask forgiveness from our children when we've made a mistake
• that perfection doesn’t exist
• to look after ourselves
• to set aside time for hobbies (if you’ve forgotten what they are, go on a mission to find out what they were and to explore some new hobbies)

Look out for signs of burnout in yourself and your partner:

• feeling on edge or out of control
• raising your voice often
• resenting your children
• headaches, stomach aches, changes in appetite
• being overly emotional (tearfulness, easily angered etc.)
• lethargy

Seek the necessary help should you need to.

Implement simple ideas that may decrease stress and/or free up some extra time:

• de-clutter (less things = fewer things that can be out of place = less cleaning = less asking kids to pack away = less stress and more time)
• plan and schedule (the word "scheduling" can make some people feel nauseous but remind yourself that structure helps things run smoothly and helps to manages expectations)
• outsource (if you don't have the time, perhaps paying for the service is worth the money, e.g. meal deliveries, cleaning services etc.)
• plan family holidays long in advance (it creates expectation - the whole family  can look forward to it; you're less likely to cancel something you've paid a deposit for; you ensure you'll be getting away from your daily routine)
• say no (is not going to two kids parties per Saturday going to make your child anti-social??)
• prioritise
• make time for hobbies (as mentioned above)
• attempt something new once in a while (learning to shoot with a cross bow, wall-climbing, singing lessons, latin dancing; what have you always wanted to try?)
• break routine regularly (even simple things that are different to the norm, can help get you out of the slump of boredom)
• train your kids in greater independence within the home!! - making a bed, putting on the washing machine, ironing a shirt, making a basic lunch, starting supper (cook the pasta etc.)
• balance balance balance
• make time for connection with friends (even introverts need connection)
• get enough sleep

Everything in life is cyclical and tough times are a given. Try to plan ahead and flourish when things are tough. Should you be facing a tough time right now, be encouraged that you are not alone. Find someone who can empathise and provide a listening ear to help you through.